(no subject)

[holli]

I have an important announcement to make on behalf of those on my flist who, like me, consider coffee to be an icky-tasting but necessary path towards caffeination (motto: We like our coffee like we like our men: not tasing like coffee).

I finally figured out a way to make dining hall coffee palatable! All it takes, it turns out, is to fill the mug up halfway with coffee, and the rest of the way with chocolate milk. This also saves valuable waiting-for-your-coffee-too-cool time, as the chocolate milk is quite cold.

With that happy news out of the way, however, I'm afraid I have a stern message for my body, which is not cooperating At All. To wit:


Dear body,

I am very, very sorry for giving you mono. I honestly am. I didn't even kiss anyone, so it's as much your fault as mine, really. That said, I don't think you have the right to go into a state of what I will politely call gastrointestinal distress, just because I drank half a cup of coffee to keep us awake. Yes, I know you're not used to it, I know I have shielded you from the evil effects of caffeine by never drinking soda or coffee basically my entire life, but that does not mean you need to go to Defcon Four because I had half a cup of dining hall joe. You had better turn out to have an ulcer or something, because otherwise you're just being childish.

I mean, really. I ate a) breakfast, at all, which practically deserves a parade all by itself, and b) it was relatively well-balanced, even! And full of things you like! I mean, bacon and eggs! You love bacon and eggs, and I made a Pac-Man diorama with a pancake and the extra bits of egg, which I know for a fact you find hilarious. I gave you three-quarters of an orange! I keep you from getting scurvy, so why are you so mean to me?

Okay, I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal. You quit it with the Digestive Olympics, let me keep my eyes propped open long enough to attend class, and keep the menstrual cramps to a minimum, and we'll call a truce. Okay? No more coffee, and I promise to find you some oatmeal raisin cookies and possibly vegetables of some kind.

Love,

me.

Comments

[dxmachina.livejournal.com]

Mocha is wonderful stuff. Another way to go about it is to add a teaspoon of instant coffee to hot chocolate.

You poor thing with the mono, and not even any kissing to make it partially worthwhile. I hope you feel better soon.

[holli.livejournal.com]

I think this is just a bad couple of months to-- I was going to say "to be me," but that's whiny and not entirely true. "To be occupying my body" is perhaps more accurate, as I would have far fewer problems if I traded this one in for a model with a sturdier immune system and less delicate stomach.

[stephl.livejournal.com]

I finally figured out a way to make dining hall coffee palatable! All it takes, it turns out, is to fill the mug up halfway with coffee, and the rest of the way with chocolate milk.

I used to do this in college! For the same reason, too -- dining hall coffee was Teh Ick. (Also, the chocolate milk was so thick that you could stand a spoon upright in the glass, so putting it in coffee thinned it out.)

Non-coffee: I had mono twice -- senior year of high school, and senior year of college. Having it in high school sucked, because senior year is the big rush to apply to college, take all the really hard AP classes to impress colleges, etc.

Having it in college was ideal, as much as having mono could be. Because my schedule was much more open, and I could come home between classes and nap.

[mearagrrl.livejournal.com]

See, I had it senior year of high school, but it was best, because I got a permanent pass (it was a month before the end of the year) to skip any classes I didn't want to go to, and only go to the important ones. :)

[hecubot.livejournal.com]

Chocolate makes everything better!

This is also the standard technique to make office coffee tolerable, since most work kitchen stations are stocked with hot cocoa packets. For an extra treat, use the half and half as well. By then you have to nuke it a bit because it's cooled off. However, it's pretty good.

Wishing you all kinds of health and well being, and a small windfall to fully enable your DVD purchases.